bad mommy

I would like to think that I've become a pretty good mom over these last 4 months, but recent events might prove otherwise. I have had a few bad mommy moments recently, but if I'm here and Sadie is here to tell about them they couldn't have been that bad, right? Ok, so you already know about me and the nail cutting disaster. These next two instances make the nail cutting look like a walk in the park.

I think most people that know me would say that I'm a pretty laid back person. Although being a calm mother is good for me and my baby, it has almost gotten me into some pretty big trouble over these last few weeks. I'm not ashamed to admit my flaws, (hey, that's what this site is for, right?) but I've come to learn that taking care of another human is NEVER easy. I still consider myself a child and now someone thought I would be capable of taking another person's life into my own hands. Maybe that person should have thought twice. (I think it was my husband and my decision, but again we're stupid kids. What do we know!?!?)

Bad mommy moment number one:

We were on vacation and finally getting into somewhat of a routine. We decided, after a few nights of cooking at home, that we would take our little show on the road for dinner. (***Side note: getting a baby ready to go out anywhere is a production. If you plan on not looking like a train wreck yourself I recommended enlisting the help of others to get you and the baby out the door in a timely manner). Ok, as I was saying...In usual Sadie fashion there was minimal sleeping in the car on the way to the restaurant and as soon as we arrived her eyes were even more wide open. I always try to remain calm when this happens, but the truth is you have no idea what a baby will do at any moment so there's always a little nervous pit in a mommy's stomach. A meltdown could occur at any moment...just breathe.

In order to enjoy any meal out you should always revert to my helpful hint...feed, feed, feed. I'm not the kind of mommy that whips a boob out at a restaurant (no judging for those that do) so I always come prepared with pumped bottles or formula if I don't have milk stored up. It's not that I'm bashful, I just haven't felt the urge to show perfect strangers my hoots. I do have one of those breast feeding covers too, but let's all be honest bottle feeding in public is just so much easier (for me at least).

So, I take Sadie out of her car seat, pump her full of food and gently rock her into sweet slumber. Once she's out there's a sigh of relief and it's time for me to eat! At this point I'm clearly more concerned about putting food in my mouth then strapping her back into her car seat. I figure it will probably disturb her sleep and I'll just do it once we get back to the car. Well, a large dinner and a glass of wine later, we are ready to head home. Sadie slept through the whole meal and the entire trip home. I am so excited that everyone got to enjoy a quiet dinner and most of all that I got to eat without a baby on my lap. We get back to the house and I go to unstrap Sadie from her car seat and realize that I never strapped her in once we got back in the car. We drove our 20 minute drive home from dinner and Sadie was just chillin' on top of all of the car seat straps! I didn't beat myself up too much since thankfully nothing happened, but honestly what kind of sane mommy does that? Obviously one who was hungry and needed some wine. I got over it pretty quickly and bad mommy moment number two made me forget it entirely.

Bad mommy moment number two:

Most people would say managing more than one child is difficult, but I think managing a new baby and a doggy you've had for over three years is much more challenging. Since the weather has been gorgeous in the 'BUS, I've made it our routine (me, Sadie and Rosie) to go for a very long walk everyday. Everyone benefits from this - Rosie gets to run around outside since she's stuck at home these days, Sadie gets to nap because it's pretty much the only place she'll sleep during the day and mommy gets exercise since she gained nearly 40 pounds with Sadie and needs to get rid of it.

Making this all happen on my own isn't always easy. I usually let Rosie out of the house first off her leash while I get the stroller down our three steps up to our house. Rosie's a good dog, but still acts like a puppy. I can usually trust that when I let her out that she'll stand and wait for us at the bottom of the stairs. (Lesson number one: Never again let Rosie out of the house without a leash when manning a massive stroller at the same time). When I opened the door to go outside I assumed Rosie was standing there waiting for us, but I was wrong. I shut the door of the house and locked the stroller by my side (keep in mind that the stroller was definitely LOCKED and about 3 feet from the steps). I look up to make our way down and I notice that Rosie has darted across the street to play with the neighbor's dog. As I am just about to go chasing after Rosie thinking that I could have almost killed my poor pup, I hear a thud thud thud and a whaling baby. "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD," my exact words. Per usual, my mind left worrying about Rosie's whereabouts (poor Rosie) and turned around to find my little Sadie in her stroller at the bottom of the stairs on its side. "I killed my baby!" I thought out loud in a scream. As I ran over to the stroller to make sure Sadie was still alive, Rosie came darting back across the street to make sure everything was ok. Almost killed my dog a second time, but at this point I don't even realize that Rosie could be hit by oncoming traffic. I removed Sadie from the car seat and she immediately stopped crying. As soon as she stopped, I started. I couldn't fathom how such a thing happened. When I turned the stroller upright it was still locked. I was convinced an evil spirit tossed my child down the stairs. It was virtually impossible for her to have fallen from so far away. I must have had a black out moment in the whole happening because I really have no idea how it all went down (no pun intended).

After calming myself down enough to call my husband and my mother (who assured me that everyone has a story like this), I realized that Sadie was totally fine. We all survived a bad mommy moment and I can even laugh about it now. I'm just so grateful for bad mommy moment number one because without it I probably wouldn't have had Sadie strapped in for bad mommy moment number two. Now, my new motto is that I will never make the same mistake twice, but I can almost guarantee that there will be plenty more bad mommy moments. Come on people, no one's perfect:)

The Birth of Sadie Sugar Scheiner

My friend Jackie sent me the story of her son Eli's birth last night. She told me a friend told her to write down the story of her baby's birth because as time flies it will all become very fuzzy. I spent the morning writing and rehashing our story. I thought I would post it because it is the real reason for me writing this blog in the first place. Here goes:

On Wednesday, May 20th 2009, I went for my weekly visit to the doctor. Only a week and a half from my due date (May 29th) I was expecting to hear that I would be going into labor any minute. As prior check-ups had gone, there was NOTHING going on down there. So, I continued my week as I normally would. I finished out my week at work, walked up the 6 flights of stairs to my desk and then said goodbye to my co-workers for the weekend. I was looking forward to a long, relaxing Memorial Day weekend with Michael.

On Saturday, the 23rd, Michael and I went to Whole Foods to get food to cook out and stay at home for the weekend. We got some Chesapeake spiced shrimp (our favorite) for dinner Saturday night. It was a gorgeous night so we sat on our back porch to eat. After stuffing our faces I planted my HUGE body on the family room couch. I started to feel a little funny. I told Michael I thought I was having contractions. I wasn't really sure if they were real or if it was just a little pain from eating too much. They were all over the place and I couldn't really even time them out. Thinking that it must be nothing, we went up to bed. The same random contractions proceeded to keep me up in a sweat the rest of the night. At about 7am on Sunday I went to pee (something that happened about every 5 minutes at the end of pregnancy) and I noticed a little spotting. I knew that with the contractions and a little bit of spotting that something was happening. I called my doctor (Dr. Green) and told him that I thought I was having contractions and they were about 20 minutes apart. He told me to just relax and that if they got to 5 minutes apart to just go to the hospital and let him know we are on our way. Until then, we were forced to just wait.

We continued our morning as we normally would. We relaxed, watched some tv and ate breakfast. At around 11am the contractions seemed to be dying down a bit and I couldn't even track them anymore. I was so stir crazy that I couldn't stand being in the house anymore. I told Michael I wanted to go to the mall because there were a few things I needed. We head over to Easton and as we're walking around I notice that the pain is back and it's coming much faster at this point. I called my mom to tell her that I was having contractions and she asked where we were and I simply responded, "we're at the mall." Still thinking that it was false contractions, I went into Abercrombie to pick up some flip flops. It must have been the pounding music, because the contractions came on stronger and stronger. It was unseasonably warm outside and I could barely make it to the car due to the pain and heat. I told Michael we should get home pretty soon because the contractions were becoming increasingly painful. We stopped for gas and I called my mom again. She said if they were as painful as I described that I should really keep my eye on a clock and make sure I'm timing them. I started looking at the clock at 2:30 PM. From 2:30 until 3:30 the contractions were coming every 5 minutes and they were about 45-60 seconds long. The pain was starting to worsen, but I still wasn't sure if I was ready to go to the hospital. I was such a calm patient that at one point Michael actually turned to me and said, "are you sure you're really having contractions?" After the full hour passed of the contractions hitting at every 5 minutes I told Michael that we should grab our bags and go. Meanwhile, our poor dog Rosie had no idea what was going on. Our amazing neighbors, who always watch her for us, had already left for the night to go to their lake house. We had no place for Rosie to go and while I was having unbearable contractions I was more concerned of where Rosie would stay for the night. Unfortunately for Rosie that was probably the last time she was priority number one:(

We calmly headed to the hospital. I called the doc on the way and he said he would alert the on-call doctor that we were coming in. (My doctor wasn't working that weekend, but he promised us he would deliver our baby - amazing man!) Michael drops me off at the front door of the hospital. At this point I can barely breathe. The contractions were coming faster and harder. After Michael parked the car we went to check in and I told the woman at the desk that I thought I was going into labor. She tells me that they were expecting me and my doctor had already called. They give me my hospital bracelet and walk me to the testing room. The maternity floor was very quiet. They gave me a gown and set me up with a monitor that would track my contractions and the baby's heart beat. The nurse said I was definitely in real labor and the contractions were 2-3 minutes apart. When they did my internal exam they found I was only 2 cm dilated. I was so confused because I knew women that were walking around at work 3 cm dilated when they were at the end of their term. Regardless, they called my doctor and he advised them to officially admit me and get me to my birthing room. Michael and I were so excited! We called both of our parents and told them to get on flights immediately because the baby would probably arrive sometime in the night or the next day.

At around 6pm we were all set up in our room. At this point I'm still handling contractions pretty well. Our first nurse came in and told me that they were going to get me started on pitocin since I wasn't dilated much at all. She said they would hook me up with an IV and then they would break my water. She said I could have the epidural anytime I wanted. I wasn't sure I wanted it yet because I didn't think you were suppose to have it until you were at least 5 cm dilated and I was worried it would wear off by the time I was pushing. She quickly said, "ok, your choice." (Not the nicest nurse, but she went off duty shortly after). Another speciality nurse came in to break my water. She literally took a small wooden stick (sterilized obviously) and punctured the plug. It just felt like I peed myself. When they broke my water they noticed that something wasn't right. The water is normally clear and mine was greenish and thick. The new nurse on duty (so much nicer) informed me that the baby had a meconium poop inside of me. Meconium is usually the baby's first poop outside of the womb. One out of four babies has this poop inside of the womb. It can be caused by stress or if the baby has fully matured. The nurse assured me that everything would be fine and they would just have to flush me out to keep the fluids clear for the baby.

At this point the contractions had escalated to extremely painful. As soon as the pitocin kicked in I couldn't handle it anymore. I insisted on the epidural. I didn't want to feel this pain any longer. They brought in the nurse esthetician who would administer my epidural. He was not the nicest man and it seemed like he had no idea what he was doing. When you get an epidural they like you to sit up and arch your back up so your spine is easily accessible. Keep in mind you are experiencing horrible contractions at the same time which become quite distracting. This insensitive man could not get the catheter in my spine correctly. Apparently the epidural process is usually no big deal, but I clearly had a nurse who was not very good at his job. He FINALLY got it in and it was like the clouds opened up and the sun shined through on a stormy day. HEAVEN! I couldn't feel my legs. I laid back and relaxed for the next few hours.

We didn't know what we were having so Michael and I discussed names. We could never agree on a boys name so we were still unsure at that point what our baby's name would be if it was a boy. I made Michael turn on the ipod so we could rest and listen to the "belly mix" I had made. A few of the songs I put on the mix implied I was having a girl...John Mayer's "Daughters" and a James Taylor cover of the song "Sadie." I just knew it was a girl! As the hours passed and I was feeling pretty awesome, my parents arrived. We just hung out in the room for awhile. I remember telling my mom that this labor thing was really no big deal once you had the epidural.

Later on, my in-laws arrived. They made it all the way from Miami just in time because I was about to begin pushing. That blissful thought of labor being easy breezy changed a bit when the pushing began. Dr. Green told the nurse to have my epidural turned down because he wanted me to feel some sensation so I could really help them with the pushing process. I was terrified to feel anything at this point. I loved the epidural! I didn't want them to take that from me. With my first push I saw the nurses face turn white. The baby's heart rate had dropped so low that she immediately turned me on my side and told me to not push anymore. She called the doctor to alert him and said we would just let the contractions push the baby down a bit naturally because she didn't want to cause the baby any additional stress. She became so concerned with the baby's low heart rate that she began to panic and wanted to prepare us for a potential c-section. She said that if the baby couldn't recover each time the heart rate dropped then I would have to be rushed into the OR for surgery. She put an oxygen mask over my face so I wouldn't freak out. As she proceeded to tell Michael where he could find scrubs I began to panic!

When Dr. Green finally arrived he was as cool as a cucumber. He was confident he could get this baby out with my help and there would be no need for surgery. It was time to push again. With my first push I had no idea what I was doing. I let out a whaling scream. Dr. Green looked up and said, "are you feeling pain when you do that?" I said I wasn't and he looked confused. He said, "try to push more from your butt then your face. You are going to exhaust yourself if you push like that every time." I've never felt exhaustion like this before. I proceeded to push for the next hour and a half. The nurse said she could see the baby's head and there was lots of hair. Tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn't wait to meet this little person.

With each push the baby's heart rate would drop and then the baby would recover nicely. Michael was by my side cheering me on. He got so excited at one point, "come on push, harder, come on!" I turned to him and said, "I know you're trying to be a good cheerleader, but you need to take it down a notch." I kept pushing and pushing. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. Finally, Dr. Green said, "if you give me a few more great pushes I can get this baby out in 10 minutes." It was the greatest motivation in the world. I dug somewhere deep inside of myself and found some energy to get those last few pushes out. All of the sudden I saw Michael face light up. He saw that I was crowning and all he could say was "oh my god, oh my god!" With a couple more strong pushes the baby slid right out. The baby was face down with the cord wrapped around it's neck. It was 2:45AM and Dr. Green turned the baby over and said "IT"S A GIRL!" Dr. Green set the baby on my belly and she just looked up straight at me (very alert already). Exhausted and elated, I cried and yelled out "IT'S SADIE!" Dr. Green instructed Michael to quickly cut the cord. They brought her over to the neonatal nurse for observation since she could have ingested the meconium. She weight 6lbs 7oz and was 20 inches. She spent the next 2 days in the NICU for observation. She was a strong woman from the start and recovered beautifully. We were so blessed on that early May 25th morning because Sadie Sugar Scheiner came into our lives and we haven't been the same since. (Rosie definitely hasn't. She's still not sure about her little sister:)

i am officially a mid-western housewife

Yup, it's true.  I am now officially a mid-western housewife. I actually prefer the job title full-time mom.  After working at Abercrombie & Fitch for the last three years, I resigned from my job yesterday.  I was offered a deal I just couldn't refuse.  The job requirements are a bit different and I took a salary decrease, but I think it's going to be the perfect career.  My boss is one tough cookie.  She screams and even cries when she wants something from me and to top it all off she sleeps on the job (sometimes:)

I can't believe after five fast years working in an office I am starting my new career as mommy.  If you don't know me you're probably thinking, 'wow, only five years...she must be so young!' Don't forget, I live in the mid-west.  It's how we do it out here.  I moved to Columbus at 24 and by 27 I was married and poof, I had a baby.  Could it be the water?  People say that New York has the best bagels and pizza because their water is so great.  Maybe the water in Ohio makes you want to start a family young. Whatever it is, I clearly drink from the tap. 

I think I always knew I wanted to be a young mom, but if there's one thing I've learned over the last 11 weeks it's that nothing can prepare you for this job.  There really is never an easy time to have a baby. It's not like a regular job where there's training and you can ask your boss questions.  My boss can't even talk so it's not like she can tell me what to do.  There's no instruction manual.  You get home from the hospital and you're officially on the clock.   
Speaking of clocks...the hours are a bit different.  At my previous job I worked from about 8:30 to 6 and now I work 24/7.  I used to shower before I went to work and now I go to work in my pj's. Taking naps on the job is encouraged for all employees, but doesn't always happen.  Lately, I've even been sleeping with my boss.  You gotta do what you gotta do to get a raise around here.  

So, clearly my life has changed.  I didn't take the job for the money because I don't get paid.  I'm never going to climb the corporate ladder or be the CEO of a major corporation. Now, all it takes is a good burp and a big poop from Sadie at the end of the day to make me the happiest employee in middle America!

the baby manicure

For most women manicures are a normal ritual.  If you live in Manhattan you can pretty much walk into any little Asian manicure place and come out spending about $10 and have pretty decent looking nails. You entrust these non-English speaking people, who claim to have beauty degrees, with your little paws and don't think twice.  So when it comes to your baby's nails why is trusting yourself to cut them the scariest task possible?

If you're a newmie you have probably already experienced cutting your baby's nails. I'm not sure how your experience went, but mine was less than enjoyable. When babies are first born their nails are often long and paper thin. In the first few weeks I was able to just gently peel Sadie's nails off to keep them from growing too long. As she gets older her nails have been growing as if she's on a prenatal vitamin (amazing for mommy's nails by the way).

My first experience with the nail clipper was pretty harmless. I think it went so well that it made me a little cocky with the clippers. When it came time for her second manicure I had no fear. I went in for the cut and thought I did a great job again. It wasn't until I notice blood all over her face that I realized something was terribly wrong. Without even knowing I clipped a piece of skin at the tip of her thumb. It clearly didn't even bother her because she didn't make a peep. I figured if this was the worst thing I would do as a newmie I shouldn't beat myself up over it.

Fast forward a couple of weeks. I am getting us ready for vacation and I toss in the nail clipper because I notice her nails are becoming lethal little weapons. After my husband telling me how long and razor-like Sadie's nails had become (I challenge him to cut them)I decided to go for it. I got through the first hand without a hitch. I moved on to hand number two and with the first cut a whaling scream came from her mouth. I looked down and almost fainted...I took a chunk of skin from my poor baby's pinky. It was something out of a slasher movie. The blood wouldn't stop and neither would the high-pitched screams. As her tears were flowing my eyes began to well up. As I'm panicking that I've probably destroyed my little girl, all I can think is 'I'm such a bad mommy...I'm such a bad mommy!' Everyone is racing around the house trying to figure out how to get the bleeding to stop. I'm doing everything to comfort her...pacifier (wouldn't take it), boob (not a chance) and to top it off the bleeding just wouldn't stop!

When we finally got the bleeding to stop we all needed a valium (too bad they don't make it for babies). The experienced scared me straight.  I vowed to never cut her nails again.  My husband claims he would try it next time.  I would love to see that happen:)  Maybe those little Asian nail salons are better than I give credit for.  Do you think they take appointments for newborns?

***Since starting this post I took the plunge and cut Sadie's nails again.  I think it was the two gashes on her face that pushed me over the edge.  Good news is I did it without any blood, sweat or tears.  Ok, maybe a little sweat.  

baby won't let me blog

I guess the first week I started blogging was a good week for Sadie.  Looking back I have no idea how I was able to write so much.  Even though life is progressively getting easier I'm finding it much more difficult to blog. I think it might have to become a weekend job when daddy's around.  

Sadie is not a napper (although she is sleeping at the moment - very rare event) and blogging has moved down on the priorities list.  In fact, as I am typing this I'm wondering why I'm not napping myself. 

This upcoming post took a few days to complete because of my lack of time.  Hopefully, as life continues to become more routine I'll have more time to write.  God knows I have plenty to say.  There's never a dull moment as a newmie:)